London Acoustics Manager Hears World's Failing Heartbeat

Dear Raymond,

I feel I must resign because I need to press on with the construction of the bunker complex I have embedded beneath the herbaceous borders in my back garden. The sudden and rather bowel-churning turn in international affairs has forced me to re-assess my position vis-à-vis employment with .

I fear that any day now 'A real rain's gonna fall' which will 'wash all the scum off of the streets'. Consequently, I believe that it would be imprudent to hang on and wait for my share options to mature, as all the economic signs point towards imminent dissolution of civilisation, followed by a period of universal suffering and despotic rule by sociopathic tyrants over feudal minions who spend their short, brutal lives tending failed crops in an ice-scarred wilderness.

I trust that when the hot wind of merciless wrath blows across this district that you and your family will be either vaporised painlessly or that you yourselves will have taken the necessary measures to ensure the survival of your kind.

Very best regards and good fortune.